U Runt

How do you undo the makings of a brat?

My nephew is 6, he is a brat! I mean, a rude disrespectful obnoxious spoiled brat! He is a control freak. He kicks and hits and yells and screams when he doesnt get his way. He got kicked off the school bus last year. He gets suspended from school for not listening and disrupting everything. His parents cant control him. Any advice?

Public Comments

1. not to be mean but whopping his but might help. also use guilt . examples , don't talk to him and if he asks u for something tell him no im too upset to talk to u. remember guilt only works if he has a guilty conscious. if none of the things listed above help then spanking or making stay in him room all day will also help. if you put him in his room make sure to unplug the tv and take all his toys out of his room so all he has left to do is sit. hitting him is a last resort but the best thing to do is the first time you see him being a brat yell and scream at the top of your lungs untill hes frightnend and huddled into a corner do this untill he stops which shouldnt take long.good luck
2. Well unless you are his caregiver for a good portion of his awake time, I do not think that there is much YOU can do. His parents are the ones that need to step up and take control of the situation. Do they admit that he is out of control? The first step is convincing them that something needs to be done. The primary caregiver(s) need to come up with a plan to change his behavior. They need to agree on what they expect from him, and what the consequences are if he doesn't behave appropriately. They then need to sit down and very clearly and calmly explain that there will be some changes in the household rules, and then outline the expectations and the consequences. A positive reward system works the best in my house. For instance, my daughter, who is 5, is in Kindergarten. If she gets a "refocus" (her schools version of a timeout for disrupting the class) at school, then she gets nada when she gets home besides a review of her misbehavior and she has to tell me how she SHOULD have behaved. If she gets no refocuses, she gets a little reward, or she can wait and see if she can go a whole week with none and get a better reward. A little reward is me doing a chore for her, like carrying up her laundry or reading an extra bedtime story, etc. A week's reward would be a movie, just her and me. She is an energetic little thing and her first 2-4 weeks at school she was getting a refocus just about every day. Now she hasn't had a single one for 2 weeks. Positive behavior recognition works. BUT... again, it his parent's/ caregiver's job, and they have to step up and do it. It will be hard at first, and you have to stick to the consequences EVERY time. Hope that helps.
3. He needs to go to a child psychologist to address his anger problem. This problem won't go away without professional help.
4. If he's been suspended and kicked off the bus for behavior problems, then the parents should take him to a family counselor and get him evaluated. I'm not saying there is something mentally wrong with him, but the whole family will learn how to deal with his anger while he learns different ways to cope and listen to authority in therapy. Why go through it alone? Insurance will pay for it, and the school or his doctor or even the phone book can recommend a good family based resource center. Good luck!
5. Major discipline and boundaries....
6. well if it's not your child there's not much you can do. his parents need to set guidelines, and make sure he knows what his consequences will be if he breaks a rule. consistency is key, it sounds so textbook i know, but it's the truth. positive reinforcement will go MUCH further than negative attention and just remember calling a child a brat and focusing on the bad may be partially to blame for SOME of the behavior. if you call a kid a brat enough times, they start to believe it themselves and may not do anything to prove you wrong.
7. Two Words... CORRECT DISCIPLINE (not abusive, not irregular (consistent never changing) and most important... a generous reward system, so that the learn quicker that it is better to behave than to be disruptive.)
8. It is obvious he has never been disciplined, and by discipline I don't mean "spanking" or hitting. Everytime he has yelled or kicked at home I'd be willing to bet he was handed whatever he wanted, so naturally his parents can't control him...they've handed over all control to the child. He needs rules, structure, CONSISTENCY. He isn't getting ANY of them.
9. This is probably learned behavior. A child lives what they learn. This child has learned that his parents won't do anything so he runs acts as he feels. Unfortunately you can't do much since you are only the Auntie. What you can do though, is give him good boundaries at your house that he must abide by. This behavior will most likely be situation specific. I have a niece and I do not approve of her behavior. But she doesn't dare try what she does for her mother around me. She knows that I won't allow it. Any child will push the boundaries as far as you let them. Wouldn't you? Really, it is the parents that need help. They need to adopt some new parenting strategies to help them be more consistent in their parenting.